montage #3: The Scaredy Cat Film Fest preview issue

When I was seven years old, I watched The Exorcist with my mom. As you might imagine, this had a profoundly detrimental effect on my sleep at the time, and/but, I suspect, an equal if opposite one on my long-term appreciation for the frightening. I remember very little about my actual experience of watching The Exorcist, other than latching on to how iconically fucked up Linda Blair’s face got by the end of it and how viscerally upsetting the pea soup barf was—but what I do remember is the deep, abiding fear that roosted inside of me like a fat chicken for weeks after watching. I remember lying in bed in the dark, wide awake, too afraid to close my eyes. I remember asking, repeatedly, if Catholicism was really “like that.” Mostly, though, I remember it as the first time a parent expressed genuine regret.

Showing me The Exorcist when I was a literal child wasn’t even that unusual for my mom, though—two essential household staples during my rearing were the made-for-TV It (terribly scarring, can’t even talk about it) and the Who’s Tommy (scary in a fun way, plus: baked beans). My mom also took my two older sisters and me to see Scream when it first came out, and I was so freaked out by the opening scene (obviously the scariest part) that I started sobbing and dipped out to watch That Darn Cat instead. I had just turned nine years old. I don’t remember a single thing about That Darn Cat because I was still shaking (if not actually, then definitely emotionally), but I just Google image searched it and actually it looks amazing—like, look at this:

Christina Ricci eats at a diner (?) with her beautiful cat (???) in That Darn Cat.

What’s that cat doing sitting at a counter! That’s crazy.

For the record, my mom’s not a maniac—we mostly watched Aladdin and The Little Mermaid and A Claymation Christmas Celebration, like everyone else—but she’s got good taste and she’s not afraid to use it. I don’t think “what is this going to do to my child?” even entered her mind and, for the record, in these specific instances, I don’t think it should have. Scary movie nightmares are good for your character. Eventually, she introduced me to The Matrix and Fight Club (13 years old) and The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (17, I think). Besides, none of that fucked me up nearly as bad as when I was 12 years old and my older sister’s boyfriend came over with a VHS of Santa Sangre for us to watch. Some things the juvenile brain is simply not meant to digest. Or any brain.

I’ve been thinking a lot about this sort of thing because the third season of my podcast (I know), Film Fest, is focusing on movies that fucked us all up as kids—on each episode, a different guest has brought a movie to chat about with a personal story attached, and we couldn’t have ended up with better, weirder choices if we’d planned it all ourselves. Out of nine episodes, we’re only covering two actual horror movies, and one of which (Bride of Chucky) is more of a pre-Scary Movie winking comedy anyway (the other one’s The Ring, which: 🫣). Someone brought Labyrinth, which in hindsight I do understand (puppets), someone else brought Jack Frost, which, again, puppets, got it, and in my favorite little twist someone else brought their sordid history with The Lion King but not for any reason you would ever possibly guess (my personal guess was “Be Prepared”—scary!—but wow was I off base). We’re kicking off the season this Tuesday with Spielberg’s uber-flop The Terminal, which is probably the most real we’re getting, what with that particular movie saying “something” (allegedly) about citizenship and immigration in an unstable global landscape. That being said, it’s also kind of “about” a baby-faced Diego Luna and Stanley Tucci with hair flailing around in a big fake airport. Much to discuss, obviously.

Something listeners of Film Fest will know is that we have a different “ending question” each season, related to the theme. For example, questions like were you a bad kid? (I was not) and if you could marry any celeb, who would you marry? (Jenny Slate). This time around, after some back and forth (for example maybe asking people if they’ve ever seen a ghost, which now of course I regret not doing), we landed on “What’s your biggest fear?” Is this too personal? we wondered. Will people be okay with this? Will it end the episode on a weird note? Some great questions there and, well, we went ahead and did it. So. You’ll just have to judge for yourself. (Worked out well imo!)

Anyway, I think it’s a great season and I think you’re going to enjoy it. If nothing else, something fun I’ve learned from having these convos about the weird movies that scarred us is that raising kids is a real crapshoot, huh. You might be the kind of person who doesn’t worry much about showing a horror movie to a child, and by doing so you might open a little door for Chucky or Leatherface or the Ring girl to crawl into their nightmares. But look, you might be the kind of person who would never not in a million years show a scary movie to a second grader, how inappropriate, but—oops!—The Brave Little Toaster and James and the Giant Peach and Watership Down and Dennis the Menace and Toy Story fucked them up anyway. So what are you gonna do? Not show a kid ANYTHING? Are you delulu?? (Just learned about “delulu,” not sure if I like it yet.)

I recently asked my mom if she remembered showing me The Exorcist when I was seven years old, and she said “No, but I love that movie,” then went immediately into a great impression of Linda Blair turning her head all the way around and cackling. And she’s right: she shouldn’t remember doing that, because it doesn’t matter, not really. Not in any meaningful way. It’s a good movie—I love it too. And guess what? Last night I had a nightmare where Olivia Rodrigo was mad at me because she couldn’t remember all the words to “drivers license” and somehow it was my fault, so what the fuck does that mean, hmm??

Scaredy Cat Film Fest runs through your podcast app of choice from October 3-December 5. Follow Film Fest on the internet and check out the SCFF schedule here.

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Movies I watched this week: The Masque of the Red Death (wanted to watch more of the Corman collection on Criterion this week because it left the site today, but I fell into a Chucky hole instead—I was fully astonished by how terrific looking Masque is and how modern it felt in its final half hour. An insane movie actually!) | Child’s Play 2, Child’s Play 3, and Bride of Chucky (wanted to be caught up on Chuck before recording our Bride ep this weekend—CP2 is the best of the bunch, including the first Child’s Play, which is fun but janky) | the 1994 Little Women (<3 <3 <3)

Podcasts I’ve been listening to: I listen to podcasts a lot, but not many different kinds. I don’t like serious podcasts in the same way that I get bored with “serious” TV shows, but every couple of years I’ll go through a little This American Life phase like every other liberal white millennial. Anyway: U Springin’ Springsteen on My Bean is the newest iteration of Scott Aukerman and Adam Scott’s “listen to an entire discography and do bits for 2 hours” series, this time (obviously) on the albums of Bruce Springsteen—the first three have been a lot of fun, and reminded me that I love Da Boss. Great show for the treadmill. | The Great Creators is Guy Raz’s show where he interviews interesting people (creators, I guess(?)); I had never even heard of this show, but his new ep with Carly Rae Jepsen is definitely worth it if you love the Jep like I do. | The new Lives of Writers conversation with Emily Costa and Tucker Leighty-Phillips was so warm and comforting on my drives to and from work this week, I felt like I was in the room with them (good feeling!!). | I only listen to You Made It Weird when the guest is interesting to me, and the newish ep with Gary Gulman is the kind of ep that show does best: two good friends getting deep, and quick.